Flower Moon

The night prior to the full moon I meditated with open drapes as the moon light caressed my skin.
Love.
Everything boils down to love. Love is my loss. Even now as I type these words tears fill my eyes. This truth is not easily accepted. Love is my loss... I have never loved anyone with true loves fullness.
Love.
When anyone loved me, I let them go. I said goodbye. Fear kept me from loving. A fear forged protection cloaked my soul from pain. My cloak caused people pain. I hardened my heart. Unbreakable... I was unbreakable.

I have been letting go and saying goodbye to those things which no longer serve me. I have nothing left to let go. I am empty. I am empty. An empty protective shroud hangs upon my soul... my last ditch effort to fear love is no longer serving me.

This full moon was the Flower Moon. A Scorpio Moon and a Taurus Sun... A perfect time to connect spiritually and physically. Shedding the protective layers to ground deeply within the natural resources our Earth provides... yes... Love... Yes, Love... yes, I am ready for love.

I went outside. My timing couldn't have been more perfect. The air brisk and rain sweet as the misty water graced the land. Fresh and dark, the moon lit the cloudy sky. Peace. So peaceful. I sat my candle upon the deck chair and carried a small China bowl filled with water, barefoot across the rain slick deck. Stepping down to the cool wet grass and damp earth I walked a few paces to the middle of the yard. The wet grassy tendrils caressed my toes and dampened the tops of my feet as I stood under a cloudy dark sky. I smiled.  The misty rain began to wash away my old protective shroud. I raised my arms to the heavens and turned in a circle my face to the sky. Heart full. Love filled. Water drenched my hair. Cool and fresh I enjoyed the rain falling from hair to scalp then slowly rolling down my face to fall from my eyes like a tear.

Wash me, oh gentle rain
Wash me
Cleanse the old
Cleanse the old
Wash me clean
Wash me new
I release
I am empty

Signifying release, I said those words while pouring the little China bowl's water around my body in a circle. Standing within and feeling peaceful. My mind's eye pictured Angel hands gracing my shoulders and lifting the old protective cloak. The fear is no longer necessary. I was reminded of my protection. I am protected with love. Fear is not a beneficial protection. I lived unseen and now my time has come, to be seen. I do not need the layers to hide who I am.

I will be seen
I will be known.

My heart is open
Love, behold.