A Quiet Moon

Listening to self
     Important
Listening to the Higher Self
     As Important
Taking care of self
     Of utmost importance

This watery full moon was all about
     Self
     My Self
Taking care of me

My body said, sleep
     I slept, rested

My mind said, Be Still
     I was quiet, inside
I did not host a full moon gathering
My body and mind, said no.
     I sat, alone

A little fire, a little water
A crescent of crystals
Outside under a quiet night sky
One of my feral cats hanging by

I didn't burn words
I didn't write any
     I spoke a few to say, Thank you
I accept all I have asked for
     Thank you

Healing Listening Reflecting
I am whole unto myself
All I am is happening now
Now, it is my time to manifest
All of what I am

Too long I have sat in repose
     Comfort
     Complacency
I have almost everything I want
Yet still
I am not done

My body
My words
My family
All my family

ACTION!
The next half of my life is now!

Balance

This world
I lie in wait for the next Coming
What is Coming?
Where is my stance?
I often say, Woman
Know your strength
And where does Man reside?
Where is Man's strength?
How do we balance one with another
When balance is hard-won?

Everything this planet offers
Is a lesson in Balance
Balance does not always mean peace

Caressed by the wind
And the spirits therin
They walk around me
Feeling my emotion
Not sorrow
Not pain
Not happiness
Nor remorse
Only this,
That I do not know.

To what are we in this
Our existence?
How do we connect
Soul to spirit
To body
To mind
To overcome this
This fear in life?

This land has mourned enough
This land has cried
Her tears of blood, sweat and toil
Who will hear her needs?
Who will pick up the spade
And make her a home?

My message is balance
How do we live in a world of balance?

Message from Higher Self

I am craving silence, darkness, quiet and peace.

I have within
The soul of woman
Born out of time
Her story advanced the ages
Golden ripples through time
I am in the middle
The path between here, now
To the future
To the past
To this
I am opening doors

Which direction do I go?

Do not move
Stay in the now
Let the doors open
And move through you
They are the ripples
You are the stone
They move out and back in
Through you
Impact them.
To impact time
To interact with the Now
To advance the past
And solidify future events

To what measure do I go?

You are doing it
Pulling them out
Through the ages
You are shaping them.
The way they think
Their perception begins to change
You are their light.
Through the open door
Hands out
Bridge their crossing.
You are their "Rememory
You are" that" who sees

What about those I cannot help?

They see the light

How do I wake them?

Impact them
I can only show you so many times
Act upon what you know
Act upon it, you will grow.
No coddling
We reap what we sow.

I have great works in play for you.
You have great work to do.

Step by step I see the path
I move forward
You told me all would be made clear
Keep moving forward
I am moving forward

You are a good listener.

March Full Moon Madness

OMG
Seriously, March Madness!

This full moon was in an intensely emotional Virgo.
I feel off kilter and on a terrible roller coaster ride.
I am on the largest turn of the sacred spiral spinning this life.
I feel lost and vapid.

This moon energy is volatile.
I read a few articles about this moon and one of them mentioned deception within intimate relationships.
I am not feeling well in my relationship.
Is it me who is deceived, or her?

This moon put my intuition out of sync.
I have an abnormal anxiety clustering my mind.
I cannot feel my path. I cannot feel the future.
I normally feel everything.
This feeling confuses me.

I am afraid I am out of control and the dark shadow is rising.
I need to go deep within the shadow and purge the fuck out of myself.

I made a notation the other day to remember the difference between reacting and responding.
I may not have done the right action. Did I over-react? I don't know.

Love is powerful and dangerous.
I release my love. I let it go to do what it will.
I am empty, to receive.

What direction is your path leading you to?
(figuring that one out)

Namo Namo

New Year Energy

This new year energy is awakening raw emotions. I'm on a roller coaster ride and feeling nauseated. With the turns, twists, ups and downs I don't know which way is the right way. Who has the right-of-way? 

My higher self is calling me forward. Journey on sister

Journey on. 

She is reminding me, the path is made clear. Keep moving forward.

During a meditation yesterday, I was reminded to go within. Deep within earth energy and remain until kundalini energy rises.

Breathing low and slow. 

Namo Namo, my friends 

Dona

Timing

I will begin my Blog, again. Time has treated me well! I am married and we Bought a house!
I have many New insights to Share.! New Moon Ceremonies and ways to share the energy in words!

See you Soon!

Layer by Layer

It is a damn onion peeling.
Layer by layer, I am revealed and becoming my authentic self.
I am pretty damn authentic in most areas except one. I have not opened up and gone past the BS surrounding my mother.
This is the one place where I am having heck of a time healing. I have a darkness in my heart about her. I have a sense of responsibility for her and I don't know why.

There was a time when she comforted me when comforting sounds until those sounds were replaced by her fear of upsetting my step-father. The woman emotionally bankrupted my soul, at an early age. I began with a deficit in the love department, so how the hell does a person give someone something they rarely ever received from their own mother.

I let her move in with me, in 2008. She irks me. She is my bane. I feel responsible for her well-being and yet, I have little emotional attachment to her. I do not ever feel the need or desire to hug her. Maybe I am pushing her sentimentality away because I never had it and I don't know how to feel those emotions from her.

She is a lost piece of art
A masterpiece unmade
The careful hand slipped
 And the dream lost
How does one shine
Where there is no love
How is the vision complete
While darkness settles within
She is unmade
She is waiting
Time has become dusty
Frail upon her heart
The clockwork ticks
Ever so slowly
She is unmade
A masterpiece Unborn

Every layer I peel, leads me back to her. To the place where fear and mistrust live. I don't want to feel this way and yet, I struggle. My light self battles my shadow self... and the shadow keeps winning...
I cannot love completely or be loved completely until I get beyond this. Until I face the onion peel and cry real tears, on her face. She knows she hurt me. I think?

I let THIS hold me back... because I do not face it head on.
I think what really irritates me, is HER. She hides out in her bedroom and does not ever talk about what her feelings are, except her damn want of a damn horse... or how tired she is because she had trouble drying her clothes ALL day. They are in the dryer. The dryer does the work. She cannot have a horse, because she does not have the money to own one. She cannot drive to her friends house, because she quit her job and does not have the money for gas...and, I think she blames me because I have her buy the food for the house with her SS money. I pay all the other bills... where else can she get that kind of deal? Rent and Utility free... cell phone free... How much better do I have to be?

She makes me feel like I am the villain. I am the bad guy. I do the wrongs in life.

I work 6 days a week. I take one day and make the day mine...