Tuesday, February 24, 2015

A Meditation on Time~Kind of~

The last few days have been long. Perhaps, it has been the last couple of weeks~I have felt the wheel of time slow and could even hear the clinks of the movement...As if what is happening now, is a set point in my time here on this planet...unchangeable and a major determining point into my future. Fate is being written, now. Every decision being made is writing the path to the future and my place there. The web does not tangle, listen. There are pulses in life and pathways to take and answers to questions once thought unknown.
Walk softly as the wheels turn and listen to the movement time creates. Find your pathway back to love to the beginning where love is...

I sat in front of the fireplace, a warm fire blazing with candles and incense in the background. Music playing, light and simple, dancing to the beat of the flickering firelight. I connected to the here and now. The moment where the finite meets with the infinite. Sitting cross-legged and connected to the earth and sky I slowed my breathing and waited for just a moment to hear the sound of silence. The hum of life, the ring of life in my innner ear...there is where I focus my being.

I saw a large cavern, dark with a pool of clear spring water. I watch as I swim along the cavern pool. There is no darkness where I swim, for the light shines from within illuminating my way. The cavern walls are damp and there is an echo vibration and knowing of the deep. No fear. Only peace and enjoyment of the beauty in the moment. The water is clear, cold, warm and cleansing. The light shining from within my chest, illuminates the entire way, before and behind me.

While in the vision, I had a distinct awareness of my cat, playing with a rubber band beside me. I love my cat and my cat loves me. The feeling of love for this beast created an awareness of "love" in a Whole sense...The words form as a feeling, overwhelming me. The memory of love has the ability to be with you for all time. Love lives, always. Walk in your days in the memory of love. Those moments never end. Love continues to exist even when the time has passed. When you walk with love living within, the light shines. The energy resonates. The energy is remembered by all who see you. People will be drawn to you, to your light...as a moth to a flame...they will come...some will be burned, some will be overwhelmed by your light...some will take your light and create a new awareness of the light...and a few, very few will have the same light living within...Connect with this light and resonate together...Love is an awesome resonance. Seek the trail from the finite to the infinite and begin with simple memories. Trace them, one by one back to the source of your life and then you will find the ininite connection.

I felt the love of my cat and of past pets. The way I loved and cared for them and the security they had in me, to take care of them~I connected to the resonance~the feeling that I felt for them and traced the connection to a memory of love from my father. I was 8 years old and he was lying in a hospital bed, freshly diagnosed with terminal cancer. He looked at me with love, the first time I ever felt his love was close to his last days of living. I connected to the memory of his love and felt the life living in that moment. His love has never left me, not once...The energy of that moment will live, forever...

Here is where I cried from my soul. This is an ancient hurt, and ancient misunderstanding. I never felt loved by my father, until that moment when he knew he was going to die. I saw the sorrow in his eyes and the light of love, for me. For years, I remembered this moment and yet I never connected with it in a way to carry his love for me, with me. My father does love me, for always and it doesnt matter if the love is recognized for a moment or for many moments...the energy living in love never dies. His love has never died for me...Tho his body has decayed, his touch remains...His hands upon my shoulders holding me, while I cry...Wow...what a freaking revelation...seriously...not known...until it is felt...

and then I traveled the path, further...I felt the love for my siblings and then I connnected to my mother while I was in the womb. I recognize her connection and love to me...I traveled past the umbilical cord to her psyche and felt the warmth and softness of her love and even tho I was not aware...her love lives with me and walks with me in all the moments of my life. I connected to the time before my time in the womb and felt the expanse of the universe and the connection to the Spirit of Life and the moment of creation. The light of love that lives within is a part of the creation of the universe. I am never unloved and never alone. Love is always with me...I am alive with the caress of love from my father's eyes and the soft warmth of acceptance from my mom.

The message is here. You are never alone. Love lives within. Resonate with like resonating beings. Do not accept less than your resonance is...

It is easy to hold on to someone because for a moment they remind you of love. They feed your need for love, for a moment...seek not those momentary fixes...be with love always and the truth of the momentary fixes...shines through...You are worthy of the best...I am worthy of the best, knowing this...how can I keep settling for less?

Written December 22, 2011

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Beating Bleeding Heart

I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Big heart, beating loud and hard and often quaking
I am not afraid to love, not anymore.
I am finding, others are still afraid.

Afraid of LOVE.

I am not afraid to get to know a person
Know their quirks and qualities
Touch their soul and taste their lips
I am not afraid to send out love energy
This does not mean I am in love
Love energy is about being open to the possibility
Who knows, Will I fall in love?
I don't know
Will you fall in love?
I don't know
Love energy is about possibilities
Getting to know one another
Without fault or fear
Yeah, I know
There are things in my life
Which are frightening
Life engaging
Life taking
and yet, I am Whole
I am a whole person
Who loves to give
Who wants to give
Who wants to be an integral part of another's life
And vice versa

Don't be afraid to give love energy
Let not selfishness take root and grow
Do not let fear keep you in protection's guise
You will not be protected

Yeah, I have this big bleeding beating heart
Bleeding out love energy


Beating out love energy
Exhausted heart
My heart is exhausted
Tired

Art and words by 
Dona Lackey


Monday, January 5, 2015

Full Moon in Cancer




The 1st full moon of 2015 I stood outside at midnight under the moon.
Palo Santo wood burning as I released to the Full Wolf Moon.
Dancing in a circle
I saw my breath
Nose cold
The moon light shining bright
 I felt peace descend
Watched the colors dance around the moon
From gold to blue to red and back to gold again
I was touched by the light
As I released into the night.

I am a giving woman.
A healing kinda soul
I often place other's needs
In front
In place of my own.

This full moon teaches us to release patterns which no longer have a place in our lives.

I release the pattern of placing others needs before my own.
Shattering this way of being and rebuilding mySelf.

I will not become less caring
Less healing
I am
More aware of my needs
My healing

I release you.
The person I want
I release the energy belonging to you
To the ground
To the trees
To the wind
So that you live
In my life, my heart
Instead of in my head

Always seeking higher wisdom
Always seeking higher love
Remembering, I am in control of my happiness
I cannot control anyone else
We all have our place in life
And I am centering within my dark and light energies
To be me
I attract those who are to be
Within the light of my life

Love is a beautiful energy
I love without fear
I am breaking my age old pattern
Releasing
Releasing
So that I accept love
Without fear.




Thursday, December 11, 2014

Burning Fire

I cannot base my emotional need on humanity
See, I have this fire living within
     Burning
     Raging
     Wanting
     Seeking
This fire kills me, daily
I Burn to ashes
I Burn hard and fall down
Only to Rise again
I am not Brave
I have no choice, but to burn
Hot fire, burning me alive
Burning until there is nothing
Hot coals and ashes
I am never fully "out"
From the ashes, I Rise
Burning Coal in every limb
Standing there with fire, Raging
Don't touch me
Don't touch this living fire
Consuming, ever consuming
You must burn with me
To BE one with me
To Burn with me,
To Live.


Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Surrender

Surrender to the quiet moment
As your breath empties
Surrender, before you inhale
And die a little death with me

Surrender to your passion
Listen to your heart, beat
Surrender to your breath
Find your path to me

I want to touch your face with my fingertips
Kiss the corner of your mouth
Feel your intoxicating breath
Against my face

I want to touch your face
With my thumb
While pulling you close
Closer to my heart
Crushing your lips against mine

Yeah, I want to touch your face
Surrender, I Surrender
I cannot ask for more
Than your soul is able to give

I want and ache and need
A soul to want and ache and need
To surrender, Surrender
Heart to heart
One to another.

I wait, in Surrender.

Friday, October 24, 2014

New Moon in Scorpio

This amazing New Moon falls the person’s birthday, who changed my life.
Suprisingly enough, the New Moon is in Scorpio. Scorpio lies in my 6th house. The 6th house has to do with work, health and daily life.
The New Moon is about attracting what we want and powered with the solar eclipse ending old patterns and beginning anew!

Scorpio in the 6th house in health mode: I will be highly prone to blood born disease, i.e. STD.
as depicted on http://dherbs.com/news/4455/4669/Disease-and-Your-Astrological-6th-House/d,ai.html#.VEnH8YdvmpU

Pretty sure I planned this before birth. I had to, otherwise I would not have learned all the amazing life lessons brought to me by STD.

Whoa! The things I have learned!
and I want to vomit the emotion I feel, in words covering the Earth!
The song, "Like a Rolling Stone" by Bob Dylan is playing, he is singing "How does it feel?"
Dude, this FEELS!!!

Last Sunday, I went to the Psychic Fair to enjoy the pretty stones, jewelry and an aura photo/mini reading!

My aura is large. Reds, oranges, yellows and greens dominate all around me. The Aura reader saw 2 "guides", my higher self and a spirit animal strongly supporting me. The report also included a Chakra Report which showed my Solar Plexus and Heart Chakras, LOW.  These areas are SEX and LOVE!
I am screwed!
OH! To the pattern!
Destruction!

Okay.
Yeah.
I acknowledge this.
I have been working on breaking the pattern.
Words
They are words until I put them in action.
The right kind of action.

What do I really want?
I want LOVE.
I want SEX
I want to love and be loved in return.
I want SEX
I want to look into the heart and soul of another and FEEL
I want to LOVE the person I am having SEX with
I want To FEEL the heart wrenching emotion belonging to souls working one with another.
I want to BE with someone who wants to Shake up the world!
To inspire and be inspired!

Funny thing is, look at that little section up there.
I have Love.
People love me and I love them
I look into hearts and souls while FEELING, daily
I experience heart wrenching emotion working on clients!
Now, how do I combine all I have with all I do not have?
Am I being selfish?
I want the personal experience.
Look into my heart, feel me
Look into my soul, feel me
Inspire me, inspiring you!!!

Shadow living is not healthy. I have lived in Truth's Shadow for years.
Afraid to want, knowing I will lose.
Afraid to ask, because vulnerability sucks.
I put myself out in vulnerable mode.
I am not afraid to be vulnerable.

Am I being authentically vulnerable?
Or, am I vulnerable for Shock Value?
Okay, yeah
I enjoy Shock VALUE.
No one expects ME to be THAT vulnerable.

I went on a date, a couple of weeks ago. Normally, I expose my vulnerability via conversation prior to a date. This time, I wanted to meet and feel the date without pre-conceived emotions. A blank slate.

Small talk and Dirty Martini's
Atmosphere
Darkly well dressed
Mutual attraction
A kiss
A smoke
Hand in Hand, walking
Eyes downcast
Sadness
Questions asked
Questions answered

I want to be wanted
For the woman I am
Know me,
The Woman.
I am a life waker
An Earth Shaker
Soul Mender
Ever mending

We have another date for Saturday night.
I don't know what is gonna happen and I am okay with opening myself in a new way.
I know what I want.
I know what I don't want.
This person is one I will enjoy knowing for as long as we know one another.

Back to the New Moon thing.
I am ending the pattern held for many years.
I am owning my authenticity.
I will pattern mySELF after the strength living in WOMAN!
I will continue to wake the world!!!
Whether I fall in love, soon or never.
I am Like a Rolling Stone.






Sunday, August 10, 2014

Full Moon in Aquarius...The Super Moon

To Heal or not to Heal....

healing hurts.
I know because I am in a constant state of healing.
Tonight, at the Full Moon Meditation, I focused on my healing.
I focused on my need to have such an amazing healing.

The entire room was swirling in a vortex of energy and I was not alone in the healing need. Everyone has a Healing need. Does healing become grander the more intense the disease? No. No. Not at all.

Healing is as Healing does.
To those who embrace Healing's humble grace, I salute you. Yes...I salute you.
From the Broken Hearted to those with illness and death....
You who embrace the pain and nurture Healing, SALUTE!!



The Full Moon Meditation was about healing. Holding hands, one hand to give and another to receive. The energy was beautiful and intense while we said Mantra's together and separate one to another.

We rose up with hearts lying bare to the energy living in the room, tears came to my eyes and sadness forming around my heart...I felt myself lift away as time became nothing.
I listened to the subtle shift in sound as vibrations changed....
Love
Compassion
Love
Compassion
Love 
Compassion

I have a NEED
We hear your NEED
Thank you, I am grateful .....

The words above, were not the words spoken....
The words above were intoned in the vibrations all around the room....

As I was leaving, a woman handed me her card...and on the back were the words...

Feel the powerful flow of source energy 
YOU calling the rest of you forward!

Yep... I feel it!!!
and to honor myself and my gut instinct...
I am looking directly at my pain.
I am looking directly at my disease....
Sitting still and feeling all the nuances belonging therein
I am healed....

The pain
The heartache
The trust
The sadness
The fear

I want physical proof
I need physical proof

So...until then, I will envision all I AM, as I AM......
there...... yeah.... there, I AM....